Diamonds AREN'T forever
Dec 14, 2006
I heard an outrageous radio commercial on the way in to work today. I didn't pay much attention to the beginning of it, something about Robert Browning's poetry. But the last few words stuck in my memory and made me gag: "You can give something just as beautiful without saying a word: Diamonds are Forever."
Ugh! I'd rather have the words. I think most women would. Diamonds get lost. They slip off at beaches. They fall down drains. They get tossed out high windows in fits of pique. They come from faraway places, traded through one broker after another, bought at the mall as easily as a toaster oven.
Loving words last. The brain tucks them in a little crystal box, where they can be found any time, day or night, to be re-enjoyed. And every time a person listens in their heart once again to old loving words, the words become more polished and more precious.
And don't tell me "I'm not good with words." You don't have to be good with words. You just have to say them. "You mean the world to me." "I've never been so happy in my life." "I hope I have you near me all the days of my life." Feel free to borrow any of those. I've got plenty more.
Diamonds, schmiamonds. Words are forever.
Comment by Mark | Dec 14, 2006 10:18:25 AM
I've had many conversations with people about the bridal/diamond racket over the years. Then, everyone gets quiet and a woman says, "Of course, if it's given out of love..." and the men laugh, knowing that we're all trapped in a web made by DeBeers.
Comment by CV | Dec 14, 2006 10:24:09 AM
Interesting conversation had amongst girlfriends one day - someone made the observation that my husband "never does anything big - flowers, whatever".
Give me the little things - making me a cup of cocoa to wake up to, cleaning the kitchen up, curling up with me to watch some smarmy movie - over the big grandiose gestures any day of the week!
Comment by Melanie | Dec 14, 2006 11:29:39 AM
Diamonds sparkle in the light, but words, written or spoken, and actions, make my eyes and heart sparkle. Words, actions and time together make memories, and no one can take those memories way from you. I'll take words, actions, and time together over diamonds any day of the week. So much more precious!
Comment by doug s. | Dec 14, 2006 2:19:42 PM
thanks everyone, i'm going out this afternoon and returning the diamond earrings i got her and then on christmas, im gonna tell how much she means to me. hope she didnt snoop again this year
and wonder where the jewelry is. she may wonder who i really bought them for.......just kidding. its great to hear that ladies really feel this way. a good lady that feels this way is a diamond, but im afraid maybe a diamond in the rough.
Comment by Dr. Tim | Dec 14, 2006 3:13:48 PM
Susan!!: Your mother made diamonds. She painted rocks...and of course she gave us you.
Comment by Rox | Dec 14, 2006 4:27:19 PM
Actions speak much louder than diamonds!! When my husband warms up the car for me or fixes my parents' car or plows the neighbors driveway, I know he is a kind, caring person. Diamonds are just fancy pieces of coal. Give me someone who can show his/her love over a rock any day!! Love ya, Richard!!!!
Comment by Frank | Dec 14, 2006 6:06:54 PM
Susan,
Wow...I feel as though I just got sucker punched. I'm one of those types that would rather take out the garbage or run to the store for my darling wife than say "some of those phrases".
I promise tonight I will say one of your phrases.....
She is going to fall off her chair and wonder if I'm having an affair.
:)
Comment by Alison | Dec 14, 2006 6:15:36 PM
I'll take the everyday things my husband does for me over jewelry any day. Every morning he makes me a cup of coffee and every weekend he makes me breakfast. Yesterday he called me from work just to tell me that he loved me. That's worth more than diamonds to me.
Comment by Rose | Dec 14, 2006 8:02:22 PM
I received diamond earrings prior to being married (a wooing tactic of the guy who became husband. I guess it worked). After a decade or so, he replaced my original plain gold band with a beautiful circle of diamonds wedding ring.
Here we are, married for 25.9 years and counting, and I rarely wear the jewelry. I can't use a phone wearing the earrings, and the ring is too big because a few years ago, I succeeded in downsizing back to my wedding weight.
We do own a priceless gem, though: what we promised each other years ago. I personally think the turn of phrase is worth a lot even if I can't sell it on eBay:
"I will walk forward with you, match you stride for stride; neither ahead nor behind you, but close by your side."
Comment by lou | Dec 14, 2006 11:06:52 PM
That is crap I know ladies love Diamonds the ring is the thing. That does not mean I dont clean the floors and the bathroom I do. And I hold my wife close and tell her I love her all the time after I wash my hands.
Comment by JGolden | Dec 14, 2006 11:12:34 PM
I heard the same ad tonight. It crushed my poor writer's heart, and yet I had to admire the concept from a marketing point of view. There are so many men who feel hopelessly tongue-tied or deeply uncomfortable when it comes to the language of romance. This commercial reaches right into their wallets and plucks out the hundreds of dollars they'll pay to not have to worry about how to say the words.
So I'll begrudgingly admit the commercial might be effective. But "Diamonds, schmiamonds" really made my day.
Comment by Ben Daredundat | Dec 15, 2006 12:25:00 AM
Shame on the diamond industry for painting women as being so shallow as to fall for a trinket as a sign of true love. Equal rights would at least mean the guy gets a new fishing pole or something just as nice. Let's not forget time honored traditions, feeling guilty yet? Don't get me wrong if a working class individual choses to set aside half a months earnings to give his bethrothed a symbol of his love, that most likely comes from the heart. Donald Trump, or some other multi-multi paying a new record sum for a rock? For the people who think they don't know the right words, your thinking to hard.
Comment by CT | Dec 15, 2006 7:55:03 AM
I just love the Master Card commercial where the first statement is "engagement ring $9,000.00"??? What kind of nut spends $9000.00 on an engagement ring?? Tell her you love her and want to spend the rest of your life with her and get a lovely, less expensive ring. If she requires big diamonds then this is a ver shallow person.
Comment by KT | Dec 15, 2006 12:55:18 PM
I have a question... If I were to ask my beloved guy THE question, would he like diamonds? Or would a lovely plain band do?
I like the idea of a single object holding meaning - why do we hold on to our baby blankets, our children's first lock of hair, the souvenir purchased at a roadside stand someplace other than here? A ring is no different in this regard. But diamonds? Not my friends. Way too ostentatious for my size 4 1/2 ring finger.
Comment by Rox | Dec 15, 2006 2:06:36 PM
Comment to Lou--I do not have a diamond, just a wedding band. Did not want a diamond 36 years ago and still do not. Commercialism that says we "must" have this or that just goes against my grain!!
Comment by Bev | Dec 15, 2006 2:46:36 PM
As we stood watching the waves roll in on an isolated beach along Lake Superior, my (now) husband picked up a stone and asked me to marry him. The stone still sits on my dresser and I am happy to have a plain band and a treasured memory.
Comment by Debbi | Dec 15, 2006 3:13:35 PM
Sorry....I'm not in agreement here....diamonds are wonderful. Every day, I look at my finger, see the diamond that my husband bought me when he asked me to marry him, and I remember the moment. I have 3 diamond earrings in each of my ears, each with a special memory attached to them. I do NOT take my diamonds off, except when I go to the jeweler to have them cleaned. I don't want a plain gold band, and I don't want the words packed into a 'crystal box' in my mind. I look at my white gold cross on my neck that has 5 diamonds on it, the center diamond representing my son, who died in March, and the other four diamonds that represent my two remaining children as well as my two stepdaughters. I like my diamond jewelry, and as much as words are nice, and I like to hear them, I also like to have the rocks to remember the words.
Comment by Rutie | Dec 15, 2006 5:24:40 PM
Yeah Rox! I didn't want a diamond either 33 years ago and still don't. We purchased matching bands and my then husband-to-be surprised me with an opal, my birthstone, because he wanted me to have an engagement ring. On anniversary 20 he suggested that we get new rings custom made by a great jeweler in northern Michigan, Becky Thatcher. She did a fabulous job walking us through the process and having stones from our favorite beach cut to fit the rings. I've had more comments and interest in that ring in the subsequent 13 1/2 years than any ring I've ever owned and probably most diamonds. What is even more wonderful is that my husband is a romantic who picks terrific gifts but who also shows his love with his daily actions. I also owe a debt to a mother-in-law who taught him that birthdays and Christmases were best celebrated by giving special, personal gifts that are chosen with the recipient in mind, not to the standard of consumerism set by commercials.
Comment by Charlie Gies | Dec 15, 2006 5:51:44 PM
The only time I have spent big money on a diamond for my wife was ten years ago when I bought her engagement and wedding rings.
She and I never let a day go by without reassuring each other of our love several times over. That's what's most important. Sometimes we find other ways to let each other know we're special to each oher.
One day a few years ago, we had planned to meet for lunch at a sandwich shop near a Hallmark where my wife had to pick up a few things. I got finished early with what I had to do that morning, so I headed over to the Hallmark. There I saw my wife talking with a saleslady. So I sneaked up behind my wife, leaned over her, and asked her, "Hey, beautiful, would you like to do lunch?" You should have seen the look on that saleslady's face!
By the way, we have not seen the movie "Blood Diamond," nor do we intend to see it. We do not make it a practice to go to R-rated movies because we do not wish to expose ourselves to the blood, guts, and gratuitous foul language usually associated with movies that get an R rating. However, I understand what it's about. It's something sobering to think about when you go to buy a diamond, the possibility that you could be helping to finance some exceedingly cruel rebel faction in an African country. Some diamond sales even help finance Al Qaeda.
Showing real love is worth a lot more than giving diamonds.
Charlie Gies
Sterling, VA
MSU Class of 1968
Comment by Yooper Rick | Dec 15, 2006 10:27:36 PM
Words are cheap!
I love to write poetry, Some people actually like it. But because I write so well my wife discounts every nice thing I say ( Like your Beautiful tonight) in her words, I am to good with words!
43 years and counting!
As far as the De Beers conspiracy, how about that evil person that came up with love languages, like "Dear, My love language is service!" Holy Wagh! Isn't love supposed to be unconditional?
Comment by Sheri | Dec 16, 2006 12:03:28 PM
Yeah, the men all laugh over how "taken" they are over diamonds, then they go spend 30 to 40K on a car or truck that's a piece of junk in 5 or 6 years. Makes sense to me. Eyeroll.
Comment by Lynn | Dec 16, 2006 1:48:35 PM
We chose financial freedom instead of a diamond 25 years ago. We both just happened to get laid off (with everyone else) in 1982 and didn't have bills to make it a disaster, instead it turned out to be a bonus. We had found a free campground in the Florida Keys, set up a tent and stayed on that beautiful island for 6 glorious weeks, spent a total of $500 for the trip! But oh, the memories! If we had bought an expensive diamond ring, we would have had to find new jobs right away to pay the bill, instead we were able to have the vacation of a lifetime while we were young and able to really enjoy all of it.
Comment by Jim M. | Dec 16, 2006 2:22:48 PM
A kiss may be grand, but it won't pay the rental
On your humble flat, or help you at the Automat.
Men grow cold as girls grow old,
And we all lose our charms in the end.
So square-cut or pear-shape,
These rocks won't lose their shape:
Diamonds are a girl's best friend.
Comment by Jim M. | Dec 16, 2006 2:24:47 PM
A kiss may be grand, but it won't pay the rental
On your humble flat, or help you at the Automat.
Men grow cold as girls grow old,
And we all lose our charms in the end.
So square-cut or pear-shape,
These rocks won't lose their shape:
Diamonds are a girl's best friend.
Comment by Michigasse | Dec 16, 2006 4:45:55 PM
Diamonds are a representation of investment. I've had MANY guys say words that popped into their heads at the moment and our feelings turned out to be fleeting. Only a few have actually invested in their heart's feelings and when the feelings weren't mutual the gifts weren't accepted. Put your money where your mouth is...talk is cheap! If I'd fallen for a guy's WORDS over his investments I would be in line behind all of his other baby-mama's! If he'd given me a diamond I could at least PAY for the kids instead of crying about how "he said that he loved me"! Talk is cheap...guys will say anything to get what they want...gentlemen will invest time and money when they're in love and the WORDS don't hurt either. I say love deserves BOTH! It's not a "one or the other" thing. No $ for diamonds? Any gesture will do...just DO IT, don't just SAY IT!
Comment by Charlie Gies | Dec 17, 2006 12:09:52 AM
Talk is not just cheap; it's free. Doesn't the saying go that the best things in life are free? A couple can reassure each other of their mutual love every day, as many times a day as they want; and it will never cost them a penny.
Another thing my wife and I like to do is to listen to romantic music together. It could be Peabo Bryson or Teddy Pendergrass, or it could be some nice instrumental music. We sometimes just sit in our living room together and listen to the stereo.
When you have that, who needs diamonds?
Charlie Gies
Sterling, VA
MSU Class of 1968
Comment by Kathy W. | Dec 17, 2006 9:50:58 PM
I have always disliked the "Every Kiss Begins with Kay" commercials. How presumptous! You may call me cheap, but my kisses can be bought with much, much less, in fact, usually all you have to do is ask!!
Comment by Rose | Dec 18, 2006 12:51:27 PM
Am I the only one having trouble with this website? There is print over print at the top of the page. Makes it hard to read the latest blog.
Comment by Charlie Gies | Dec 18, 2006 5:29:30 PM
Rose, I have the same problem on my home computer. I don't know why. However, once I click on the title of the specific blog, the problem goes away.
Comment by Todd | Dec 21, 2006 9:28:02 AM
Does anyone know the name of the poem?
Comment by Karen | Dec 23, 2006 7:11:27 PM
Debbi - I am sorry about the loss of your son this past March. May God bless you with His peace.
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