When A Man Makes a Meal for his Date
Dec 12, 2006
My unmarried friend, nearing 40 and still searching, and about whom I've written before, reports that on a second date recently, after a Christmas concert, the guy said, "Can I make you dinner?"
She said sure, and sat on a kitchen stool with a glass of wine in hand and watched him prepare beef stroganoff from scratch. They dined together on that plus salad and asparagus. She was impressed.
He, it turns out, loves to cook and loves to cook for friends. But any guy can win a few points with a well-practiced "date meal." One friend tells me her long-time husband not only grilled her a steak but made French fries from scratch, peeling the potatoes, cutting them into strips then deep-frying them in a wire basket.
"He hasn't cooked for me since," she says, except for his classic scrambled eggs (with cheese and chives.)
My own husband's first meal for me, back when we were getting to know each other, was a Danish 
omelet: eggs, scallions, mini-shrimp and Fontina cheese. How it tasted mattered less than the thrill of watching him at the stove in my little kitchen, moving with grace and self-confidence.
Guys, don't just sign up for eHarmony. Take a cooking class first.
Comment by Yooper Rick | Dec 12, 2006 11:19:46 AM
Me bigum yooper man, me no cook! Me kill, drag home, Woman cook, umm good cook woman. Ugh!
Comment by Jodee | Dec 12, 2006 12:17:25 PM
My husband's a great cook. He just made a perfect batch of beef jerky. He can be a very FANCY cook. Not just macaroni and cheese, for instance, but penne pasta and Gruyere or something. Sometimes, though, a person just wants macaroni and cheese.
Know what's also sexy? A guy who can clean.
Comment by Ann | Dec 12, 2006 1:05:48 PM
My husband's first meal he cooked for me was Stir-Fry. My heavens, can that man make a mean stir fry. He still makes it. He's the griller too - his grilled fresh fish are to die for. And Jodee, a man who cleans is sexy, but let me tell you about my 27 year old son. He and his wife both work and they trade nights with the whole house and kid thing - so every other night my son does dishes, laundry and takes care of my ever lovin' 11 month old grandson. It has been that way since the beginning.
Comment by michele | Dec 12, 2006 1:09:40 PM
The first breakfast my husband (while we were dating) made me was scrambled eggs. Nothing fancy but it was a sweet gesture and it always tastes better when someone else is cooking. Now after being married less than 2 years he tells me he can't make eggs. I wish my husband would cook more. He is getting pretty good at chicken on the grill.
Comment by Denise | Dec 12, 2006 1:40:00 PM
Yooper Rick--hilarious! While it is nice to have a man cook for me once in a while, I can also appreciate a man's-man who doesn't!
My boyfriend of six years cooks once in a while- and does a great job at it too. However, when michele mentioned "chicken on the grill," it reminded me of one thing some men (and I'm sure women too!) still need to work on...
I was preparing the 'fixins' and I handed my boyfriend a plate with raw chicken on it to take outside and grill. He returned a little while later with the grilled chicken on the SAME plate! Pizza, anyone?
Comment by John | Dec 12, 2006 2:40:02 PM
Denise,
Sometimes common sense isn't.
It's kept ME from preparing any meats in my kitchen or grille...but I do fine in the kitchen all by myself, cleaning and all.
I always heard that a man's talent to 'fix things' is sexy for a woman...never considered fixin' food to be the same.
I guess if fixing things WERE sexy, I'd have better luck finding the right gal!! (I've got this uncanny ability to fix anything this side fo a nuclear reactor, especially in a crisis!)
Cheers!
Comment by Charlie Gies | Dec 12, 2006 5:39:31 PM
Back when I was first pursuing my wife, the subject of cooking came up; she informed me that she does not like to cook. I let her know that I love to cook.
When she later came down for a weekend after we got engaged (she stayed nearby at her daughter's house), I fixed a fish dinner for her and me, as well as our chaperone. The following morning I fixed pancakes for both our daughters and their husbands, as well as her and me. Since we've been married, I've cooked many dinners for guests we've had over; recently I fixed Paprikakuehner for us and two other couples. My wife sets the table.
My wife does her share of cooking, though. Usually she prepares simple meals. But she can fix some slammin' fried chicken, potato salad, and greens when she wants to!
Charlie Gies
Sterling, VA
MSU Class of 1968
Comment by Sue | Dec 12, 2006 6:10:46 PM
The problem with a "guy who cooks", is that it falls into the same category as a guy who "babysits the kids" when the wife is gone. Why should this be such a noteworthy characteristic for a man? Why shouldn't a man cook, as well as take his turn at child care? Why are these mundane attributes assigned only to women? I own my own tools, know how to use my VSR reversible drill, have hung up new lights and installed new thermostats. Unfortunately, women can do it all and it's not newsworthy. But then.... are we surprised? :)
Comment by Sue | Dec 12, 2006 6:12:59 PM
And yes.. I know "VSR reversible" is repetitious.. it's been a long day at the salt mines. :)
Comment by barb d | Dec 12, 2006 6:19:44 PM
When he retired my husband always cooked breakfast. He always did the dishes after dinner. He's gone now and I sure miss my dish washer.
Comment by Rose | Dec 12, 2006 6:58:15 PM
My husband was always a hands-on daddy, wonderful about participating in the care & feeding of our progeny. When it came to the house, though, his motto was, I'll take care of the outside, you do the inside. Which included cooking - grill responsibilties were his, but all other meal-related anything were mine. Then his job went to India without him. After 20+ years of continued employment, he decided to sit back for a couple of months and collect unemployment while he figured out his next career move. Suddenly, I had a house-husband!
He cleaned better than I ever bothered (he even Q-tip-detailed the TV speaker fins), did all 22 of our windows inside and out monthly - and had fresh coffee waiting for me each evening when I got home from work. Dinner was on the table daily, simple but tasty meals he picked out of my stack of cookbooks. He would tease about having a new girlfriend around while I was off earning our keep. I didn't mind a bit - his new pal was a longtime friend of mine by the name of Betty Crocker (LOL).
To this day I wish we could live on just my salary, letting him continue in his successful, apparently satisfying, career attempt as at-home dad. Unfortunately, I just don't earn enough (having spent too long as a housewife myself truly derailed my earning power). So, after a few months, my husband had to find a paying job.
He works 2nd shift, so we are never treated to his great dinners anymore. HEAVY SIGH. Whoever said food always tastes better prepared by someone else is exactly right...
Comment by anniebelene | Dec 12, 2006 7:24:09 PM
He cooks, cleans, does laundry, takes out the trash and I make the money. I love having a wife!
Problem is, he cooks. I mean really cooks; so nlike the way I've cooked foor years. Where hot dogs and mac and cheese were dinner for me, it's unacceptable for him. It's steak or pork chops or ribs or chicken and all the sides ta boot!
Every once in a while I take a break from being spoiled and I cook. Tonight it's to be cheese burgers and tater tots, nothing more, nothing less!
Comment by Wayne | Dec 13, 2006 5:14:43 AM
My wife and I have always enjoyed our time together in the kitchen, both while dating and afterward. I was a confirmed bachelor of 42 when we fell in love and I found myself in my first marriage. I was very handy in the kitchen, and believe thoroughly in cleaning as you cook - - saves time and effort after the meal, when you're sated and don't really feel like doing dishes or cleaning up the kitchen. Now, 4 years later, I'm still handy in the kitchen...but it's oh, SO nice to have a partner to talk and laugh with, to help sample things, and to just BE with.
My wife is the most perfect woman for me in the whole world!
Comment by Jodee | Dec 13, 2006 6:42:03 AM
Good point, Sue, about the "baby sitting" thing. That is one of my pet peeves. If I hear a guy say, "I have to stay home to baby sit my kid tonight," I say, "It's not called 'baby sitting.' It's called 'being a father.' "
So you're right. Being a member of a household means taking turns with the household chores, whether it's cooking, cleaning, plumbing or construction. We're all in this together, right? That's what being a family means.
Comment by SueLa | Dec 13, 2006 7:59:44 AM
My husband just passed away on Nov. 21. Not only was he a wonderful husband, father, and new grandfather, he was a true partner in every sense of the word and I feel I was blessed that I met him. He not only enjoyed cooking, he loved cleaning and doing other chores to make our lives more enjoyable. I was responsible for doing the dishes and wiping up the stove and kitchen counters, doing the laundry, and keeping the financial records. I miss him terribly. I know men and life partners like him are rare.
Comment by Sue | Dec 13, 2006 9:55:51 AM
Hugs to you, SueLa. He sounds like a wonderful man, and it's got to hurt not having him around this time of year. I hope you find peace.
Comment by Ray Downing | Dec 13, 2006 12:38:26 PM
Me with Yooper Rick.
Comment by Kelley | Dec 13, 2006 1:37:31 PM
Men, please stay out of my kitchen and i'll stay out of the garage and away from your power tools.
A man bouncing around the kitchen fretting over spices, sautes, and sauces is not attractive.
Comment by Rox | Dec 13, 2006 2:31:54 PM
I am with Jodee on this--a man who can cook and clean is sexy. (and a woman who can change the spark plugs and change a tire is sexy to my husband--yes I can!!)
Comment by Kathy W | Dec 13, 2006 4:13:50 PM
My hubby can put together an awesome meal if he puts his mind to it. However, I have to stay within range because there's alot of: "where's the _______?"
Comment by Auds | Dec 13, 2006 4:18:51 PM
Taking the eHarmony adventure one of my first questions to a match is "How long have you lived alone"? That way I know they can cook & clean or hope that they can/will do those things.
Comment by JGolden | Dec 13, 2006 11:24:36 PM
SueLa, hugs and condolences to you, it sounds like you and your husband were wonderfully blessed.
Yooper Rick, you've warmed my feminist heart. Now I know my work here is not yet done.
My dear husband cleans, does laundry and cooks - but only about a half dozen dishes. I learned this on our first or second date, when I helped him make eggplant parmesan. And his french onion soup is better than anything I've ever had in a restaurant.
It's forutnate he cooks a little, because I don't cook anything really well. We eat out so often, that we've come up with a list of places where both of us can enjoy a decent meal for a total bill of $10 or less. We're thinking of doing a guide, with a title like "Detroit on the Cheap". Or something more catchy.
Comment by Hank | Dec 14, 2006 6:58:49 AM
I LOVE to cook and agree with Wayne, it's a lot easier to keep a sink full of hot soapy water and clean things as you use them.
When there are dishes left, wife Paula and I usualy take turns, depending on who cooked.
I also love to read cookbooks almost page to page. Cajun, creole, Italian, southern, I love it all.
Quick tip for pancakes. Try beer in the dry mix instead of water, much better.
Comment by Sarah | Dec 14, 2006 8:55:41 AM
Well, I don't cook... except bagged pasta or frozen pizza or frozen veggies. I have no idea how to cook meat. Any guy that wants to date me would pretty much need to know how to cook, or share the cooking of pasta, pizza, & veggies with me.
Comment by Shannon | Dec 14, 2006 9:40:44 AM
Kelley - I must heartedly disagree. My fiance is a fantastic cook - we joke that his steak on the grill was so good, it convinced me to agree to go out with him! From friends to dating in one steak or less, LOL.
And JGOlden - let me know when you're putting that book together, I'd be happy to help.
Comment by Kelley | Dec 14, 2006 10:48:04 AM
I guess I'm too traditional to think men cooking in the kitchen sexy or attractive. Toooooo "metrosexual". Gag.
Comment by lou | Dec 14, 2006 11:29:57 PM
suela my prayers are with you
Comment by Beth | Dec 15, 2006 4:12:36 PM
My husband is a fantastic cook and I am not so bad myself. We often cook together. Sometines I am his sou chef and sometimes he does the cutting and chopping for me. We eat out rarely because the food we cook beats most restaurant food all to h---. I do some of the stuff he doesn't like to do. Neither of use like to outdoor stuff so we hire it out. We do what we enjoy and it all works out just fine.
Comment by Shawn | Jun 19, 2007 11:42:53 PM
I love a man who cooks all too well, like my husband. On special occasions he would surprise me with fancy dinners even if we're only sitting on swivel barstools.
Post a comment
